Week of November 26th

Book Group
Tuesday, Nov. 27th, 6:30 pm, Wild Oats Cafe, The Mother Knot by Lazarre. Host: Katie. Email a leader for information or directions. See questions below.


Playgroup
Friday, Nov. 30, Linnea’s house, email a leader for information or directions.



Bookgroup discussion questions - Thanks, Katie!

1. Is the anger expressed in the Mother Knot (and Dispatches from the Not So Perfect Life) a universal experience or simply the requirement for writing a book like this? Is being a feminist a pre-requisite?
2. How much does Jane’s unique cultural experience affect her view of motherhood (Jewish, in an inter-racial marriage)
3. The struggle between “self” and “mommy” is a constant theme in this book and other motherhood books. Explore this theme from the 50’s to present, across the woman’s movement, mommy wars, etc.
4. Is the type of desperation that Jane and the other mothers feel a product of their times, or their motherhood?
5. After Jane meets Anna, she finally finds someone that isn’t afraid to discuss the dichotomy of motherhood. On page 85 she discusses the two part sentences i.e. “I would much prefer to die than lose him. I guess that’s love” – I wince and we both laughed – “but he has destroyed my life and I live only to find a way of getting it back again.” How do you relate to this dichotomy?
6. By the end of Chapter 6 Jane has found a community which gives her a break. She finds that she craves a childcare day over a study day. A sense of community was something that Jane found it difficult to find before meeting Anna. How would having it have changed her experience? How does our modern culture of isolated nuclear family shape our mothering experience?
7. p. 97-99 “I was the boss. But it was half the responsibility that I needed to be rid of”. James graduates at the end of the chapter. Why does the woman make the sacrifice? James is willing to let the baby cry on “his time”. Jane is not. (How many of us have had this experience?) So she ends up taking more of the burden. Her school suffers. Why? Because we birth, we nurse? Is it biological? If we didn’t have the drive to pick up the crying baby, the inability to ignore, would the species have survived?
8. p. 161 “Do the words “day care” conjure up images of Dickensian orphanages where ragged children play in the corner until whipping time.” What does the words day care conjure up for us now? Especially in our AP circles?
9. p. 163 “James, the child of a poor family who had not given their children’s lives the minute attention we continuously gave ours, still basically believed that we do not bring children up, they grow up.” Does this statement have merit? How much influence so we really have on the outcome? James says “He knows we love him, doesn’t he? He has clothes, food, a home, friends, He’ll be all right.” Do any of you feel like you over analyze things way too much?