Weekly Updates

I finally got our calendar and our updates at one page! Visit us at http://bendap.org to see our whole calendar or click on Upcoming Events to see what is happening this week.

http://bendap.org

Week of December 3rd

Baby Group
Tuesday, December 4th, Jen's house, email for directions.

Playgroup
Friday, December 7th, Library, 10 a.m. Preschool Parade Storytime designed for ages 3-5 will be happening in the Brooks Room at 10:15, if that works for you. Otherwise, meet in the play area. Email a leader if it's your first time, so we know to look for you.

Older Kids Group
Saturday, December 8th, 9 a.m. - noon, Wanoga Snow Park for sledding. This is the new sled hill and supposed to be much gentler and safer than Skyliners. See Bulletin article, as long as the link continues to work.

This event was created with older kids in mind, but all and everyone who thinks it sounds fun is welcome! Email Renee for more information.

Week of November 26th

Book Group
Tuesday, Nov. 27th, 6:30 pm, Wild Oats Cafe, The Mother Knot by Lazarre. Host: Katie. Email a leader for information or directions. See questions below.


Playgroup
Friday, Nov. 30, Linnea’s house, email a leader for information or directions.



Bookgroup discussion questions - Thanks, Katie!

1. Is the anger expressed in the Mother Knot (and Dispatches from the Not So Perfect Life) a universal experience or simply the requirement for writing a book like this? Is being a feminist a pre-requisite?
2. How much does Jane’s unique cultural experience affect her view of motherhood (Jewish, in an inter-racial marriage)
3. The struggle between “self” and “mommy” is a constant theme in this book and other motherhood books. Explore this theme from the 50’s to present, across the woman’s movement, mommy wars, etc.
4. Is the type of desperation that Jane and the other mothers feel a product of their times, or their motherhood?
5. After Jane meets Anna, she finally finds someone that isn’t afraid to discuss the dichotomy of motherhood. On page 85 she discusses the two part sentences i.e. “I would much prefer to die than lose him. I guess that’s love” – I wince and we both laughed – “but he has destroyed my life and I live only to find a way of getting it back again.” How do you relate to this dichotomy?
6. By the end of Chapter 6 Jane has found a community which gives her a break. She finds that she craves a childcare day over a study day. A sense of community was something that Jane found it difficult to find before meeting Anna. How would having it have changed her experience? How does our modern culture of isolated nuclear family shape our mothering experience?
7. p. 97-99 “I was the boss. But it was half the responsibility that I needed to be rid of”. James graduates at the end of the chapter. Why does the woman make the sacrifice? James is willing to let the baby cry on “his time”. Jane is not. (How many of us have had this experience?) So she ends up taking more of the burden. Her school suffers. Why? Because we birth, we nurse? Is it biological? If we didn’t have the drive to pick up the crying baby, the inability to ignore, would the species have survived?
8. p. 161 “Do the words “day care” conjure up images of Dickensian orphanages where ragged children play in the corner until whipping time.” What does the words day care conjure up for us now? Especially in our AP circles?
9. p. 163 “James, the child of a poor family who had not given their children’s lives the minute attention we continuously gave ours, still basically believed that we do not bring children up, they grow up.” Does this statement have merit? How much influence so we really have on the outcome? James says “He knows we love him, doesn’t he? He has clothes, food, a home, friends, He’ll be all right.” Do any of you feel like you over analyze things way too much?

Week of November 19th

Happy Thanksgiving!
No events planned, just enjoy and give thanks. Thanks for all the wonderful mothers I have known and learned from!

Week of November 12th

Monthly Meeting
Wednesday, November 14th, 6pm, COCC Library's Oregon Room. This week's topic is mother-infant bonding during birth (and beyond)! Of course, bring any and all topics, questions, challenges or suggestions related to AP, as we will begin with an open discussion. I'm hoping to find some articles to share, I'll post them to the discussion list as soon as can. Email a leader with any questions.

Mom's Get Out
Thursday, November 15th, 5:30 pm., McMenamins. Have dinner with your movie! Meet at O'Kanes in back of McMenamins to come together before the movie starts at 6pm. The movie is the Jane Austen Book Club. "Six Californians start a club to discuss the works of Jane Austen, only to find their relationships -- both old and new -- begin to resemble 21st century versions of her novels." Looks like a lite and feel-good movie about women and relationships. Wanna read some reviews?

Playgroup
Friday, November 15th, 10 a.m., High Desert Museum. RSVP to a leader if it your first time so they know to look for you.

Looking ahead...
Have you read The Mother Knot by Jane Lazarre? It is our book group book, scheduled to be discussed Tuesday, November 27th. You can buy it cheap at Amazon, about $4 with shipping and everything. As I read it, I was (of course) very reminded of Faulkner Fox's Dispatches from a Not So Perfect Life, which we read for book group a few months ago. But this book is so beautifully written, clear images drawing sharp contrasts that capture Lazarre's inner conflict, I sometimes felt like I was reading poetry instead of a memoir. At first I wasn't sure I wanted to read a book so similar to one I had read so recently, but very soon I realized that finishing the book was not a choice. I had to complete the journey and discover what reconciliations and peace Lazarre would find. Here's an interview from the Mother's Movement Online (a cool website worth checking out for its own sake).
(Picture taken by Eurico Zimbres, uploaded from Wikimedia Commons.)

Week of October 29th

Baby Group
Tuesday, October 30th, Jen's house, 9:30ish, email to RSVP or for directions.

Mom's Night Out
Thursday, November 1st, 5:15 pm, Merenda Restaurant. Check out a sample happy hour menu. RSVP to Katherine

Playgroup
Friday, November 2nd, 10 am, Working Wonders Children’s Museum. Admission is $6 per person over 1 and under 100.

Week of October 22nd

Book Group
Tuesday, Oct. 23rd, 6:30 pm at Wild Oats, The Devil in the White City by Erik Larson. Check out the discussion questions here or here is a link to several reviews.

Playgroup
Firday, October 26, 10 a.m. Foxborough Park. Email a leader if this is your first time or for more information.