Week of September 17th

Baby Playgroup
Tuesday, September 18th, Jen's house.

Playgroup
Friday, September 21, 10 am. Hollygrape Park.

Bookgroup
Sunday, September 23, 6:30 pm, Wild Oats Cafe. The Five Love Languages of Children by Chapman and Campbell. I'm hosting and will be posting some questions soon. This book is a quick read, but may actually change the way you think about love. Definitely worth the time.

If you have the time...
Having all three girls under the care of someone else last week, I treated myself to a This American Life podcast. The theme for the show was "Unconditional Love." If you have the time, this show was beautiful, humbling, and inspirational. Well, at least to me. The first part talks about turn of the century parenting and the scientific community's stance that love is not necessary for a baby to thrive. Act two and three are the stories of two sets of parents who face incredible difficulties. If you want to download it and put it on an iPod, it costs $.95, but if you just want to stream it on your computer and listen, it is free. Made my cry and shifted my perspective on my own life.

Discussion Questions for Five Love Languages

1. Think about the last day or two. List specific examples of ways love has been communicated to you. Who communicated the love and what language were they speaking? Also, think about the expressions of love you have made. Who did you communicate love to? What language did you speak? Do you think they heard you?

2. Spend the next 24 hours on the lookout for love. Note the expression of love you see each member of your family (including you) are making. Is it easy for you to add in more love? What impediments do you experience?

3. Rank the love languages according to ease of expression for you, 1 being the love language that you do most naturally, 5 being the language that is hard for you to speak. Why do you think some are more difficult than others? What implications does this have for your family?

4. Have you discovered your children's love languages? Yours? Your spouses? What challenges have you encountered in trying to determine them?

5. What would Naomi Aldort author of (Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves) say about Chapter 8, the chapter about discipline, for example, the statement that defiance "cannot be permitted and the behavior must be corrected?" What do you think about it? What do the two books have in common? What are their differences?

6. Which of the forms of discipline listed in Chapter 8 do you currently use? Is that a conscious, deliberate choice you and other caregivers have agree on or one that's made more organically or spontaneously? Which ones did you plan on using before you had kids? If they are different, why? Do you think there are other forms, not listed here?

7. Are your children able to express anger verbally? How do you react to name calling from your children? The authors say that expression of anger is one of the most difficult and yet most important issues we will deal with as parents? Has anger been a challenging issue in your household?

8. In this book, there are several stories about transformations after parents attend a workshop or read a book. Has any book ever transformed your family? Have you had a breakthrough moment where you felt like you discovered something true, implemented changes in your behavior, and your family experienced lasting results? What was that book, and can I borrow it? Seriously, what was the book, what changes did you make, and how was your family changed?

9. If I discover that any of my daughters' love language is acts of service, am I going to have to start buying skirts that don't fit and then learn how to hem them? Did anyone else notice how much skirt hemming was going on?